


i couldn't save him

by trappedoutside124



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 22:03:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14458722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trappedoutside124/pseuds/trappedoutside124
Summary: IW SPOILERS-----------My take on what happened once the team got back the Wakandan palace and absorbed everything that had happened. Particularly, how Steve and Natasha dealt with what happened to Bucky.





	i couldn't save him

The long trek back to the Wakandan palace seemed to last hundreds of years. 

Those who survived the battle and didn't turn into dust or lose their lives at the hands of the Black Order trudged silently through the grass, stepping over dead bodies and piles of dust that used to be soldiers. Okoye, despite her hard exterior, was a mess. T'Challa had fought valiantly and she had to watch him disappear. Rocket was no better; this was the second time in his life he had to watch his friend Groot die. But Steve Rogers? That was a whole different story. 

When they got back to the castle, everyone was silent. The battle was over. They had lost--humanity had lost. All there was left to do was damage control and to pick out any survivors left. Wakandan nurses were rushing around the castle and into the city, helping with the dead and distraught. When they entered, Shuri ran towards Okoye, eyes glimmering with the hope that her brother had not disappeared like two of her lab attendants. One look at the little princess and Okoye broke down; both of them collapsed to the floor crying. Rhodes stayed behind to help get them both back to their rooms safely. Thor and Bruce went straight to the roof with Rocket; they were trying to contact the other half of Rocket's team. 

Steve walked to the room T'Challa had allowed him to stay in. It was fairly large, with one wall containing two giant windows that faced the battlefield. A large bed, a dresser, and a personal bathroom made the room feel entirely too expensive to Steve when he first walked in; he was used to small hotels with Nat and Sam, always moving to remain hidden from the U.S. Agents trying to kill him. Now, the room just felt quiet. 

He himself felt numb. He kept replaying the sound of Bucky's voice as he disappeared in his mind. "Steve?" Bucky had asked, so much fear balled into one word. Before Steve could lunge for his friend, half his body was already dust. 

Even his metal arm turned to dust. Steve didn't even get to keep that. 

Now, his heart was racing. Steve couldn't breathe; he couldn't think. "He's dead," he thought to himself as he paced, "I couldn't save him."

Steve could feel tears and panic rising. Bucky was his best friend. Steve had only just gotten the "old" Bucky back, the one that wasn't trying to kill him. And now he's gone? He groaned and dropped to his knees. He curled up in a ball, leaning on the side of the bed that faced one of the windows and began to sob. "No, no, no, this isn't right." he moaned. He didn't flinch when he felt Nat's hand on his arm and her presence next to him. After living in close quarters with her for over two years, he could tell where she was by the slightest change in room temperature. 

So, when she pulled his head to her chest and smoothed down his hair, he didn't flinch. He wrapped his arms around her tighter and began to cry harder. "I couldn't save him, Nat. I couldn't save him."

He felt her tears running down his hair and his back, felt her body shaking with sobs. "I couldn't either, Steve. Him or Sam." Steve tended to forget that Natasha took things just as hard as him. She played her feelings close to her chest and was always the diligent, thick-skinned spy. Natasha was an expert at concealing her emotions from everyone, including Steve. But Steve knew how much she needed him just like she knew how much he needed her. 

She had loved Bucky too. And he had loved Sam too. 

And then they were both sobbing for their fallen friends. For Wanda, for Vision, for Sam, For T'Challa, for Loki, for everyone whose life Thanos had ripped away. They stayed like that, Steve curled up into Natasha with her hands wrapped around her for as long as they needed. They stayed there long after they both had stopped crying; they sat there silently, just holding each other, thankful that they weren't the sole survivors. Then, Steve realized something. 

There was one person who still wasn't accounted for. Someone Steve had been meaning to talk to for a long time--nearly two years. Someone Steve needed now more than ever, especially if they had any chance of beating Thanos and recovering their lost friends. He raised his head and looked at Natasha. 

"Nat, we have to find Tony."

**Author's Note:**

> My take on what happened at the Wakandan battle! Pretty angsty because that's what infinity war did to me :-)


End file.
